7 Things I Thought I Would Be Able To Avoid as a Parent

There are things I hoped I would never have to deal with in my life. I always knew I wanted kids, so sleep loss and playing with baby poop was a given.

But there are some things my kids enjoy, personality traits they’ve developed, and issues as a parent I really thought I would be able to avoid.

7 Things I thought I would be able to avoid as a parent messy mess

1. Barney
Barney came about right after I was “Barney age.” He’s the guy my younger cousins watched and idolized. I was convinced that he would be a distant memory by the time I was old enough to have kids.
Enter YouTube and somehow the tone-deaf purple dinosaur is still popular. With new shows. The three year old was hard core obsessed, but it only lasted a year. I say “only” because it’s over now. If we were still in the midst of that phase I wouldn’t be talking about it so lightly.
Now all I have to do is hide him from the baby and I will be rid of him forever.
2. Sneaky, conniving “Threenager”
I had never heard the term “Threenager” until recently.
Unfortunately, it describes perfectly the girl kid that knows what she they want and how she’s they’re going to get it. And I’m always a sucker.
7 Things I thought I would be able to avoid as a parent pissed threenager
I thought I would be tougher than that. Smarter than that. 
Smarter than a three year old.
3. Picky Eater
My kid will eat what I give them! I will start them off with healthy eating and that will be all they know….and love!
What I didn’t count on was how much of a bitch people think you are when you don’t want your kids to have sugar. We limit their intake for sure, but it’s impossible to completely avoid it.
I’m certain though, that the first time either of my kids taste soda it will be at a sleep-over, because it certainly won’t be at my house (can you see my nose in the air from where you are?)
We let my daughter taste some V-8 out of the can once and told her it was soda, so I think we’re good for a bit.
4. Sibling Rivalry
My brother, sister, and I never fought growing up. We were the family that our friends’ parents asked them, “why can’t you be more like them?”
I have no idea how my parents lucked out, but we honestly never fought.
My friends and their siblings did. Some of them would have screaming fights, which can be quite a shock to a girl whose family resembles The Brady Bunch.
My kids get along…about half the time. And unfortunately (or fortunately), my little guy is learning how to push back.
7 Things I thought I would be able to avoid as a parent sibling rivalry
It’s awesome.
5. Lose Friends
Ok, maybe that’s a bit dramatic. I haven’t “lost” any friends. But some of my closest friends don’t have kids, so we rarely see each other. Not for lack of trying. It just happens that life, kids, and nap times get in the way.
Don’t worry! We’ll get to hang out past 8 pm in ten years. Does that work for you?
6. Permanent Messy House
You never think it’s going to happen to you. You visit a house infested with kids and you’re disgusted by the dirty floor and the toys strewn everywhere.
“My house will never be like this.” You think repeatedly the entire time you’re there.
News flash. There aren’t enough hours in the day to cook, clean, and keep tiny little humans alive. Are you going to vacuum today or take a shower? You can’t do both.
7. Mommy Brain
It was the first thing I heard about when I was pregnant. “Oh, do you have preggo brain?”
What?! Seriously?! That’s just a thing made up by women so they have an easy, go-to excuse for everything.
Well, let me tell you. It exists. I’m proof. I thought it was all in their head. (I suppose it sort of is.) But, the struggle is real. I forgot things constantly. Did I take my vitamins yet today? Did I already eat lunch? Did I shower yesterday or do I need to take one today?
It just got worse once the kids were born. I have a really hard time expressing myself now a days. There’s a reason my preferred method of communication is through texting and Facebook. I forget words, and fumble over my sentences. Daily.
Any hopes for giving eloquent speeches in my future have been squashed. So don’t ask me to speak at your wedding, that ship has sailed.
I have most certainly missed some. What are some things you thought you wouldn’t have to deal with?
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20 thoughts on “7 Things I Thought I Would Be Able To Avoid as a Parent

  1. cdaggett08 says:

    I can sympathize with sugar. I started giving Bug some table food (read sweet potatoes, steamed carrots, turkey) around Thanksgiving. Only gave her things that she also had as baby food. At my dad’s after Christmas my husband and step mom wanted to give her a sugar cookie. Then they did and she wanted to eat the sugar cookie and not her food. Needless to say, after that my husband agreed that we would try to stick with healthier foods until at least her first birthday! Also the messy house! I try to clean up every night, but then after about 15 minutes in the morning my living room is a disaster again! Thanks for sharing.

    • mamabyfire says:

      I see red when people give my kids sugar without asking-especially when it was before they were one!! I clean up every night too, but, as you said, first thing in the morning it was pointless.

  2. mrsmuffintop says:

    Every. Single. One. Only replace Barney with that f*cker Caillou! We don’t do sugar, either and with my first, I cared what other people thought. Now that I’m on kid #3, I don’t have the energy to notice their disapproval!

    • mamabyfire says:

      We saw one episode of Caillou. No way. Not in my house! He is the worst! I would rather my kids dance around and sing out of tune than whine incessantly like that little punk.

  3. ashleylecompte says:

    Yes, yes, yes. To all of these. Well, save for Barney. But just delete Barney and add in some other random television character who’s voice I NEVER want to hear again and it’s almost the same thing.

    Great list! Maybe I could do something like this on my blog, then credit back to you as a source for the idea? If that’s okay…

    Thanks!!

  4. WearingL says:

    I thought I would never step on toys (often) you know that awkward stumble you see in movies? Well it’s a daily thing here and the stumble often ends on standing on another toy..

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